My Last Night

My last night (fingers crossed) in hospital. That's right, tomorrow I am heading home. Back to Tina, my own bed and my own roots. As I write this I am looking out over Burrard Inlet, English Bay and West Vancouver. The sun is just setting. One of the many beautiful sunsets I've seen here.

Tomorrow will be my four month anniversary of my stay in hospital. It's been a long road. Many many memories. Most of them are none that I would wish to repeat or pass on to you. And there are some that are filled with warmth, tears, and heartfelt connection. All of you visited me in the scary days of the ICU and helped to keep the darkness at bay. The many many visitors since my time on the tenth floor. I feel so grateful for having all of you in my life for as I've observed there are many here who have no one in their lives.

This week I can remember pulling out of our underground parking on route back to the hospital for the night... Not generally something that Tina nor I looked forward too. In the early evening darkness I thought about the challenge of this recent medical rodeo ride and the short and possible long term lifestyle adaptations involved. And My body felt tired and my chest tightened a bit. And at the same time I thought this is my life and it's a great life I have so many things to be grateful for... My relationship with Tina, the quality of friendships and relationships and level of connection with my friends and family (all of you). I felt stronger in my body and more confident about my ability to cope and adapt to this rodeo ride. Gratitude gives me strength to adapt and keep moving forward.

On this last night and this last wonderful sunset from my room on the tenth floor I feel at peace with where I am at and an acceptance that my healing journey will require more time and patience. And I feel positive about my future.